My family dynamic has changed a lot in the last few years. There has been divorce, marriage, more divorce and more marriages.Now I have a family made up of people I haven't known for very long. And they have come to mean very much to me.
While there I went my old Young Women's group. I was excited to see that a friend of mine was teaching the lesson. She has always been a great teacher. The lesson was on marriage which can be a difficult subject. But it was perfectly inspired for me. I had been dating a very nice guy off and on for awhile and I couldn't figure out why exactly I could't commit to a long relationship with him. I have felt like something was off for so long. So I would back off. Then I would again think that I needed to give him another chance because he is such a nice guy. He is so good to me and my sweet little girl. He is funny and enjoyable to be around. So what was the hold up?
Well things became clear during this lesson. She started off with a quote from Elder Nelson:
"The noblest yearning of the human heart is for a marriage that can endure beyond death. Fidelity to a temple marriage does that. It allows families to be together forever. This goal is glorious. All Church activities, advancements, quorums, and classes are means to the end of an exalted family." (Russell M. Nelson, "Celestial Marriage," Oct. 2008 General Conference)
This makes sense to me. Everything I have done since I can remember in church has helped me become the type of person I want to be and the kind of spouse I want to be. But probably the most stand out quote to me was this one by Elder Hales:
"Temple marriage describes the place you go to have an eternal marriage performed. Celestial marriage is being true to the sacred covenants you make in that temple marriage ceremony—living celestial principles in the marriage relationship. A celestial marriage requires, after the vows are taken, a continuing consecrated life of worthiness leading to happiness and exaltation. If we live the laws properly, we will, with another individual and with our family, be able to have a little heaven on earth." (Robert D. Hales, "Preparing for a Heavenly Marriage," Liahona, Feb. 2006)
Bishop Goff commented that there is a huge difference between a temple wedding and an eternal marriage. Thats when I realized that I want more for my marriage than just to get sealed. I want an eternal marriage. A relationship that is consecrated by living the life I know I should. And that begins by being worthy to be sealed. And it continues by being worthy to continue to go to the temple together. It is validated by the little things like family prayer, FHE, family scripture reading and so on. I want to find a man who finds those things imporntant on his own. Not because I tell him they are important to me.
Elder Hales: "When you are choosing your companion, make sure that both of you have a desire for a celestial marriage relationship, a desire to have a family for eternity, a desire to have a companion for eternity and to live in the presence of our Heavenly Father. I realize the importance of setting your course, of knowing where you are going. Please date extensively. Please know the kind of person you want to be with. Please make sure that you help those you come in contact with. Please point them in the direction of associating with many people. Make sure that you know before you get married what that person really wants to be. You can do that by seeing if he or she goes to his or her meetings and has a testimony and can talk to you about eternal goals now." (Robert D. Hales, "Preparing for a Heavenly Marriage," Liahona, Feb. 2006)
Our young women leader talked about dating her husband and how he had his own rules. He made them for himself. She didn't have to tell him where she wanted him to be. I have never dated a guy that has done that. And I don't think that is too much to ask. Even if it means being really patient for the right one to come along. Needless to say I know now what was missing.
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